Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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