East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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