I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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