DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
