I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We left the knife in your bed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
