All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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