He is an equal opportunity slut.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
