I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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