Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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