dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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