ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
