Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
