thus making me awesome and them whores
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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