did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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