When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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