Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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