Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
