I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You're like the curious george of whores
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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