Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
