just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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