brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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