So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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