Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
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he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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