I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
