Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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