everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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