Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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