we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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