I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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