Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
