ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
