everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
