go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
