Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
