so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
