how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
handjob tips. give me some.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
