The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
