Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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