Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
