Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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