i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
