I hope mine doesn't look like that
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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