now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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