JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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