S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
