I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
