I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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