Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
