upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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