I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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