do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
