Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
