please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
