I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
