I am spending my child support on dildos
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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