The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
