So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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