he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
