I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
