he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
